s . s. s. silence

silence

after saying sayonara to juggling a full-time mom + career driven life, i have found myself fighting an internal battle and am wondering if others struggle with the same game of tug-of-war.  i, on one hand am 100% content with where i am in my life – i am head over heels in love with my husband + little gals and pinch myself often to be reminded how lucky i am to be able to dedicate the majority of my days {+ nights} to managing our home. this new position has kept me rather busy and does quite well at draining me by the end of the day. yet, there are points in my day that silence screams at the top of her lady lungs telling me that if she is around then maybe i am not doing enough.

i’ll be honest, i have never quite loved – shall i dare say it – silence. i find myself drawn to background sounds {although sometimes subtle}, as they inspire me. if silence is approached incorrectly, she can become a real joy killer full of self doubts and questioned motivations.

today a wise friend joined me for coffee and offered great insight into my crazy, internal world full of juxtapositions. she acknowledged that silence can indeed be a culprit for allowing space to overanalyze, yet can also allow for time to count the small victories in a day. she laughed as she recalled telling her husband about one of her “small” daily victories and realized that although he may not fully grasp her over-excitedness for what she had completed, she was confident that it helped to form a positive overall experience for her family that day.

as she spoke i was challenged to record my daily victories in order to view a bigger picture of how my commitments to matt, sophie, hazel and our community can indeed impact lives.

i am now empowered to face my days {and the silence it brings} understanding that how i deal with each “small” circumstance is not in vain.

i challenge you … put down your preconceived notions of living life {or worse yet … appearing to live life} in the grandiose way that the world tells you to and begin celebrating all of those small victories!

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